The Daily Networker

Thoughts, adventures, and experiences in the world of developing relationships.

Pre Networking Ritual

I was interrogating my wife earlier today about a networking event she went to, in the hopes that I could give her some advice (my fragile ego strikes again). Well, it turned out that she really didn't meet anyone in particular, and could really remember any of the content of the days presentation. I was curious as to why she didn't walk out of the event with a stack of note filled business cards. 

I was shocked. I taught her better than this. I was confused. I know she isn't a dummy.

I ended up figuring out that she just didn't feel good that day, and that it translated into a mindset that can only be described as "I want to go home". This kind of thing happens to the best of us, and especially if life's stressors are weighing on you. This problem is one of the venom's that infect anyone in sales, but networkers in particular. It is hard to seduce new friends when you feel like life is pointless. I understood, but it also helped me understand that I needed to teach my wife a skill and practice that I stole from every self help, religion, cult, and freemason-esque group on our little planet. A skill that can only be described as a cornerstone of success, and a catalyst for change. That practice...

The Ritual

Rituals have been used for millenia as rights of passage, beginnings to events, sexual funkiness, and all around mood setters. They are an effective means to creating a state of mind conducive to a specific event. This post will help you create a ritual that can be used before any event, every time, to create a mindset that will lock in your friendly mannerisms and good habits.

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5 Best Places To Network (The valuable version)

I have seen many highly SEO'd articles on the interweb giving their two cents on the best places to network. It's pretty interesting to see how many articles just throw out a bunch of random places where they see people, repeat old locations, or talk about moronic ideas like the unemployment office (seriously? Who the hell wants to talk when they feel incredibly negative, depressed, and down on their luck). If you want to do some serious networking, you gotta think for yourself. Here is what you need to know about situational networking, and how to incorporate a couple skills into your own networking plan.

Size Matters!

The size of a group matters because it should change your networking style, and it BETTER change the goals you have for the event.

#1. Large Events (100+)

These events usually take form of Trade Shows of one form or another. These are the best places to throw a lot of fish into your net for future selection. The goal here is simple. Make a good impression on everyone you talk to, Gather some kind of personal data that resides outside a new contacts work, and talk to as many people as humanly possible. That's it. 

Do Not Linger, DO NOT LINGER with any one person. Even if they want to make a purchase right their on the spot, get out of the conversation. Period.

#2. Mixers (50-100)

Mixers are usually Happy Hour events, Office Parties, Client Appreciation events, or something similar. Mixers are a crap-shoot. They can be little gold mines, or they can be big ole wastes of time.The key here is to pick wisely.

If a bunch of friends are going to a mixer, and you expect that you will know most of the people present, I suggest that you skip it entirely, or show up and leave in as little time as possible. The reason for this approach has to do with the fact that mixers that are comprised of friends will end up being a night on the town, drinking it up. Getting drunk with someone 80% of the time will not strengthen a relationship, and runs the risk of making you look like a moron. 

If the mixer is comprised of people you do not know, then they can work very well for you. The goal here is to find hubs of influence. Find the people that know everyone in the room, and make a connection with them. The hub will allow you to meet everyone over a longer period of time, with better results because of who is making the introduction. You cannot do this at larger events because the hubs of influence are either behind the curtain, or indistinguishable from everyone else.

#3. Intimate Gatherings (20-50)

Intimate Gatherings usually take form of a volunteer event, an invitation only event, benefit dinners, personal parties, or any small group rallying together for a SPECIFIC PURPOSE. These are the places you go to deepen a relationship with an already existing acquaintance. If you try to sell or talk business at one of these events, you're an idiot.

THE GOAL HERE IS TO DEEPEN THE RELATIONSHIP. PUT EVERYTHING INTO THE GOAL OF THE EVENT, AND NOT CHATTING IT UP WITH YOUR NEW BUDDY!!!!! I wanted to make that clear, and yes, I was yelling while typing.

#4. Regular Meetups (5-20)

These events take form in things like BNI, Lead Groups, or Ascension Networking Groups. The purpose here is quite literally to make connections with the people in the group for some kind of desired outcome. The outcome may not be business, it could be learning a new skill (college class), or enhancing your getting in shape (Art&Strength). 

The tactic here is to create real friendships, hoping they will last a lifetime, even if you or they go out of business. These can be the most productive groups you can attend, if you focus on friendship.

#5. One-On-One (1-5)

The coveted One-On-One is the best way to strengthen a relationship with someone. Getting a couple people together for a cigar, or a round of golf can do absolute wonders for your relationship. By now, I hope you understand that its true friendship that drives referrals. It's the emotional connection you make with your friends that compel them to refer to you. Get together with a few people, be genuine, and just experience the magic.

I hope by now you realize that I just gave you 5,000 best places to network. I hope by now you realize that it's friendships that make the referral, and not loyalty to your BNI Group, or whatever your excuse may be. If you made it here, please pass it along to someone new to networking that could use this.

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Networking, Where Is The Power?

Networking, the game that everyone thinks they play, but few ever succeed at. Lately, I have asked audiences what the purpose of networking was, and I have gotten the same response every time. "The purpose of networking is to find like minded individuals that could potentially buy my product." This is WRONG, completely wrong. As the first post on our blog, I want to clear up the biggest mystery (as obvious as it should be) in all of networking, which is as follows.

What Is The Purpose of Networking?


The answer is really quite simple. The purpose of networking is to create relationships with other individuals on such a deep level, that when they see a problem in the marketplace, home, hobby, and other personal lives that you can solve, they are compelled to connect you to the individual or organization with the problem. By no means does that mean you should try to sell to the person that you are connecting with. This is the purpose.

Think about that...

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EasyBlog Most Popular Post

Steven Moore
30 January 2014
I have seen many highly SEO'd articles on the interweb giving their two cents on the best places to network. It's pretty interesting to see how many articles just throw out a bunch of random places wh...
Steven Moore
06 February 2014
I was interrogating my wife earlier today about a networking event she went to, in the hopes that I could give her some advice (my fragile ego strikes again). Well, it turned out that she really didn'...
Steven Moore
28 December 2012
Networking, the game that everyone thinks they play, but few ever succeed at. Lately, I have asked audiences what the purpose of networking was, and I have gotten the same response every time. "The pu...